26 May 2019

Going from one to two kids - it was pretty easy in the end!

I've been a mum of two for a year now, after five years as being a mum of just one. Truth be told, I was a little apprehensive how it would all change when our new baby would make her way into the world. Going from one to two kids, I was a little bit worried to begin with. You hear so often what a big shock to the system it is, how it changes your family and the dynamics and everything forever (as it would do of course) and how much extra work it all is... 

And honestly? After a year of mothering two I can honestly say I wasn't half as bad.


baby and sister in matching dresses


For me and for us, going from none to one was a big shock to the system. Suddenly there is this writhing little wrinkly stinky package, who demands all your thoughts and attention. Combine that with the first experience of serious sleep deprivation, a difficult recovery from birth and just feeling generally overwhelmed by everything, and that just begins to scratch the surface. 

Going from one to two however was a walk in the park in comparison. 

We already knew what we were supposed to do as parents. Nothing was totally new anymore, although as any parent with more than one child can recognise, no two kids are the same. What worked with one, might not work with the other one... As we found out pretty quick. Despite that, we sort of knew what we could try and do and could experiment. 

We already had most of the stuff ready. No more brain space wasted on the benefits of different travel systems or what would be the best cot bed or where could we find cute clothes. Nope. We had all that, and plenty more in the storage. It was rather cheaper this second time around. 

We already knew what to expect, from birth and from newborn stage, and later. While it was still quite exciting walking into the maternity ward I knew what I wanted and what I didn't want and could advocate accordingly. I knew what the first weeks with a newborn were likely to be and could prepare myself mentally. And I knew that all the difficult times would be balanced by such great joy in the end, it would all be worth it. It was just easier to deal with.


baby and sister in matching dresses kissing

baby and sister in matching outfits looking at each other

baby and sister in matching dresses cuddling



Our new baby just slotted herself in our lives with what felt like great ease. She appeared and fit in, just like a missing piece in a puzzle. Just like a key to a lock. 

It did help that our new baby was an OK sleeper. Not great, but OK. There haven't been many nights she has slept through but it hasn't been constant wake-ups either. 

It also helped that the age gap was a sizeable five years. Our older one was old enough to not get jealous and old enough to "help", whether that was handing over wet wipes or entertaining the little one with endless renditions of Baby Shark. 

But what probably helped the most was us just deciding not to stress about it. The new baby would do what she did and we would do what we could, but there were no specific things we needed or wanted to achieve as a family.



baby and sister in matching outfits smiling on bed


Maybe it is the fate of the second-born, but she hasn't had much baby "hobbies" like baby swimming or signing. Baby swimming only started when she was closing in on her first birthday. Me going to mummy-coffee-mornings didn't start until she was well past her new baby stages - I just didn't feel that need for peer support this time.

And another second-born syndrome manifestation is that poor thing has had hardly any of her baby book filled out yet, although it's not as bad as that sounds. As a blogger there are baby entries here on the blog and I've kept up her monthly portraits too, so don't worry her being neglected in the life documenting stages. 

I haven't felt the need to be (or appear to be) active, and I haven't felt the need to do this or that. I've done stuff, of course, but it's all been very stress-free and relaxed, and cancelled if I could just not be bothered, and that has helped in making this second maternity leave and getting used to being a family of four easy, really, quite pleasant too. 

baby and sister in matching outfits


Now, don't get me wrong. The extra laundry and cleaning and food and all, it has certainly made us busy. And it is noisy and chaotic at times. But it is also joyful and fun and filled with laughter, double the laughter now. 

So for us, going from one to two kids has been delightfully and frightfully easy. I could not have imagined that it would be like this. It feels like we have always had two girls - it has been so easy for our new baby to slot in to our family lives. It is like she was always meant to be here.

So if you wonder and worry about adding that second baby in the mix, well, it isn't always that bad. in fact, it might even be totally OK!

Now, I wonder what it might be if there was a third one in the mix...



Has it been easy or hard when you add to the family?




10 comments:

  1. This is a lovely post, I think we often spend so much time worrying about the big changes that when they come its not that bad after all. Although I am not enjoying the fact that I now have two kids that can run in opposite directions!

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    1. Thank you! That's what I found - it wasnt too bad. And yes ditto they always run the opposite way :D

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  2. I totally agree, going from none to one was so hard it made one to two seem easy!

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  3. Wrinkly stinky package! Ha, I love it. So interesting to read this, as we just have the one child, which like you say, felt like a major upheaval! Thanks for sharing. XX

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    1. Yeah the first one was tough. In many ways she was an easy baby (and some ways difficult) but it was still a shock to the system.

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  4. As the older of two, I think a five year age gap is pretty perfect. I have a great relationship with my sibling, and I think it is because we had that little bit of extra age gap which meant we weren't so much in direct competition.

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    1. I hope that will happen with ours too. We do try treat our older one to special big girl time and it does help - and he is so brilliant with her little sister <3

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  5. Totally agree with this. Although I'm a bit further down the line with ages 6 and 2, and now the fighting has started! It's a ruddy nightmare!

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    1. Ha ha ha I cant say I'm looking forward to that :D we have a lot of squashing and squeezing now... :S

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