5 September 2014

10 things I learned in my first year as a mother

During the first year as a mum I've learned a thing or two - this is my list of the top ten most surprising and funny things I've learned through motherhood.
10 things I learned in my first year as a mother
This is my newborn baby - about 5 minutes old.


  1. Silence is not golden. It means you better get there real quick as your baby is doing something they should not be doing.
  2. Babies are suicidal. So if it is quiet you can be damn sure they are doing something inherently dangerous. 
  3. No means... nothing. Come to think of it, not much you say means anything to them. No. Mine. Don't. You might as well give in. 
  4. Babies love to play with smart phones and they also know that toy phones are not real. I've heard the tip about giving them their own set of keys or phones so they stay away from yours. Well. It doesn't work. They know. So good bye mummy's iPhone, good bye forever. We had fun while it lasted.
  5. Babies are soft and sweet and delicate, and hit really hard. Mostly your head, and while holding your very hard and pointy phone in their hitting hand.
  6. Sleeping later than 6AM is considered a lie-in. Sigh. 
  7. Peppa Pig is highly entertaining. Even adults enjoy it after they have been up since 4AM.
  8. A sleeping baby is not disturbed by sudden loud piercing noices (think fire alarm) but will jump up if you dare to make a little peep next to them (think opening a packet of crisps).  
  9. Fluff is the most delicious thing babies could ever think of. It is everywhere and especially their mouth. 
  10. Removing said fluff is hazardous. Tiny little razor sharp teeth meet a soft squishy finger - ouch!
What I learned in my first year as a mother
Here she is 1 year and a few hours old.


Oh just look at those two pictures of my little darling who has taught me so much - my gosh what a difference a year makes. The pictures are about a year and two hours apart...

And one extra thing I learned...

11. Poo can be explosive. Who would have known? Unfortunately we had one of those newborn parent moments where we had to wash the walls and the floor after one particularly bad episode. Shudder.

What things did you learn in your first year as parents?

10 comments:

  1. Ah this is great and so true! The phone thing is certainly true in this house. Such lovely pictures of your beautiful baby. Thanks so much for linking to #TheList x

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    1. Thanks for hosting it - it is a fun linky! Lists are always quite fun to read.

      My daughter has recently (through trying to put the pin in) managed to lock my iPhone several times, once for 50 minutes! Hah, so annoying :)

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  2. Haha My son hasn't got to the hitting part yet, but the loud noises one made me giggle and so true on the poo explosions!xx #TheList

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    1. ... poo explosions... Terrible I know! When she was a newborn she "painted" her nursery wall once... What a pain it was to get it all out from a white wall... :D

      And you just wait for the hitting... They will start doing it all the time at some point :)

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  3. This is so true, all of these points made me smile, especially the hitting hand! Ouch. Georgina x

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    1. I know, it is terrible, and you can't even tell them off since they don't understand what they've done :D

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  4. Hehee! This is really funny :) I agreed with it all! I'd say in my first year I learnt that peppa pig was just for me as he certainly wouldn't even entertain watching it (took another 6 months of trying!) - I was in love with the makers of Baby Einstein though!

    Thanks for linking love! #TheList

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    1. Hah that's funny, my little one is absolutely crazy about Peppa pig. Baby Einstein, that's a new one for me, we should try that out. Sounds smart :)

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  5. Time goes by far too quick! They grow up so fast. Seems just like yesterday mine were born. <3
    Fun list I can def. relate!

    ERFmama | www.erfmission.com

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    1. It does go so quick! I am shocked that my little _baby_ can now walk and almost talk, just a blink and she'll be going to school...

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